Every 1 designed to offend.....

[kumarakid]

I'm not normally suspicious but the wife told me yesterday that Gavin from Kiwiglass came round and injected that special resin into her crack.....she hasn't even got a car!!

I hate crushing pills up and putting them in my Auntie’s dinner. I feel sneaky, but if I ever got her pregnant I wouldn't be able to forgive myself.

A little girl walks into her parents' bedroom. She screams "And YOU want ME to see a doctor about sucking my thumb....!!

Japanese scientists have now created a digital camera with such a fast speed that it's now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her gob shut.

Paddy is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He dials 999. Paddy says "It's my wife, I've accidentally shot her. I've killed her"
Operator "Please calm down sir. Can you first make sure she really is dead?”
CLICK,BANG
Paddy "OK, done that, what next?

[Swivel]

ROFLMHO

[Steala]

LMAO! Nice one!