Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.

[Steala]

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence.

The Priest said, 'Sister, this is a silent monastery.
You are welcome here as long as you like,
but you may not speak until directed to do so. '

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the Priest said to her,
'Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5 years. You may speak two words.'
Sister Mary Katherine said, 'Hard bed.'
'I'm sorry to hear that,' the Priest said,
'We will get you a better bed.'

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was summoned by the Priest.
'You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.'
'Cold food,' said Sister Mary Katherine,
and the Priest assured her that the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery,
the Priest again called Sister Mary Katherine in to his office.
'You may say two words today.'
'I quit,' said Sister Mary Katherine.
'It's probably best,' said the Priest,
'You've done nothing but bitch since you got here.'

[kumarakid]

Three labrador retriever dogs: one brown, one yellow and one black were
sitting in the vet's waiting room when they struck up conversation.
The black labrador turned to the brown and said, "So why are you here?"
The brown labrador replied, "I'm a pisser. I go on everything the sofa,
the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when
I went in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black labrador said, "So what is the vet going to do?"
Gonna cut my nuts off," They reckon it'll calm me down."
The black labrador then turned to the yellow labrador and asked, "Why are you here?"
The yellow labrador said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers
and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets.
But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch."
So what are they going to do to you?" the black labrador inquired.
Looks like I'm losing my nuts, too." the dejected yellow labrador said.
The yellow labrador then turned to the black labrador and asked, "Why are you here?"
"I'm a humper," the black labrador said. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat,
a pillow, the table, mailboxes, whatever. I want to do everything I see.
Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending
down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back
and started humping away."
The yellow and brown labradors exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, nuts
off for you too, huh?"

The black labrador said, "No, I'm here to get my nails clipped!"

[Steala]

LOLL